jeez, been a while since i posted on the web....anywhere on the web for that matter. i just read that humans can help their memories by writing what their thoughts are. i wonder if the same is true with typing since typing seems to almost be a shortcut, like when the mind jumps past certain thoughts to come to other thoughts in our processes.
wow, that was kinda deep...

dinner tonight was at the "Can't Fail Cafe" in Emeryville. i had a serving of the hot wings and some fish tacos for dinner. yummy stuff. also, i had to order the Peet's coffee...i think i had five cups of this stuff :-) located just a block away from where i live, i think i've found a new place to hang out.

this marks a 30 hour, sleep deprivation test for me... the last time i had almost no sleep for more than 30+ hours was in Australia :-D . today was not as fun. went to work at 9pm 2 nights ago, got off at 630am the next morning(yesterday), then drove to fullerton(south of los angeles) and back to get back in time for the new day---wednesday....jeez, i think i need some sleep...

this is me with my coffee for my after-dinner walk in the woods, around the reservoir. the dam stretches around the western part of the reservoir and leads to more campgrounds. a lot of wildlife found in the mountains: deer and mountainlions---i really wanted to see a bear though.

i will definitely go back up to the mountains for some vacation time next year.

picture of wishon reservoir september 2005. you can see by the waterline that there is significant room for more water in this lake. the elevation is 6000 feet above sea level but i went cycling aroudn the area and found signs for campgrounds labeled as 7000 feet. cycling around there was fun, i'm definitely looking forward to going back.

this is a shot of how it looks inside the helms powerhouse site. basically, it's a cave cut into the side of a granite mountain between two lakes of different elevations from sea level. the difference in water level is used to generate electricity by turbines that harness the power of the flowing water through the mountain. the blurry guy is just a reference of how deep into the mountain we have to go. behind the blurry guy are lights leading up to the entrance of the cave via the tunnel with a paved road. it was kinda cool to work there for two weeks, getting my "miner" experience, lol.

me with mary and julie, pam taking the picture.

left to right are pam, mary and julie. these ladies are the best hosts in the world. i stayed at the pg&e dorms up in wishon reservoir to work in the helms power house site and these ladies were the most accomodating people in the world, ready to greet you with a good morning and a smile. oh, did i mention that the food was superb ;-)

this is the view taken from the side of the road from the wishon reservoir dam. beyond the sand on the bottom of the screen is the white line of the side of the road and forward of it is the cliff to the bottom of the valley where there are more campsites.

how can i get upset about something without the conviction that i once had if it doesn't matter to the recieving party. time wasting is sort of like that. since we're on the topic of time wasting, this blog is sort of like that. i like to think of it as therapy. so many times have i had to waste time with someone that doesn't know what they want. i know that we can sometimes be distracted and see things in different lights, but how do you see something totally different when looking at another thing for a few moments. does your perception change when you look back at the first thing you were looking at? does something in your mind trigger? i'm not here to answer these questions. and if you can't find the time to read something for your own good because you can't think of it, then i'm wasting my time.

most recent mugshot august 2005 

at times i think about how empty my room is, but i look around and i see so many things that i can do....mostly clean, but most of the time-my mind wanders back to memories, good and bad--mostly good. then i feel it, the need, the need to find something else to think about. so i go, go out into the night. i like feeling the cold, the cold wind on my cheeks. this is how it is when you are thinking, thinking about yourself and where you've been. but i look ahead, see where to go, see where i'm going, and i smile. i smile because i really can't see that far, but i know where i've been. it's a bitter smile, the smile of someone that wants, needs. but a smile nonetheless. because smiling can be used in so many ways, even in anger, in sorrow, in nostalgia. i look forward to a new day.

blah blah blah. seems like everyone around is just buzzing around looking busy. there isn't enough time in the day to do anything anymore. and i have no motivation to do anything either. i just want to go out and do something but when i get to doing it, i don't feel like it anymore. even running doesn't seem as appealing as it used to. what the heck is happening to me?

This is my friend Jacob. He's Tory's kid and he can bat. Jake needs to work on his defense though, throwing a baseball isn't as easy as most people think. Anyway, I see this kid growing up and making a great designated hitter, unless he gets his throwing arm up to speed :-D.

This is my good friend Tory out to hit some softballs. What a great day to just go out and have fun. Oregon was pretty sunny when I visited, contrary to many people's comments about how wet it is up there.

This is my good friend Jeanette in the batting cage. I had a great time visiting Oregon with these guys. I tell you what, this lady can hit a baseball like it was nothing. You go Vlad! Hahahaha!

Another day of mixed emotions to deal with. When does it end? Not in this lifetime.